Double Deadly (2010)
Crimes of Casio
One and one is two, even half-way up the arm. An electronic abacus, with a stop-watch and alarm. Division, multiplies, subtraction I can’t decide. I’ll pass this test with secrecy and long sleeves at my side. But my fingers won’t assist, like forever I know. In twelve months time the game is up as every digit grows.
You’ve got 48 sums to determine your own life. You’ve got 48 sums to decide on your own life. You’ve got 48 sums to determine your own life. You cheat 48 sums, that’s your…
Make it out alive, by running through it blind. Those sequences on sequences are finished in record time. But my fingers won’t assist like forever I know. And in twelve months time the game is up as every digit grows.
Woah, crimes of casio (x8)
Got Lot of Stuff
I’ve got so much to wash. So much to clean. So much to do – it’s really obscene. So much to watch. Too much to read. So much to hear. Too much to be.
I’ve got a lot of stuff (x12) Altogether now!
I’ve got a lot of stuff (x11)
The Summer Goes
The summer comes and the summer goes. If I quit work, d’you think anyone would know? To come and go just as I please – that seems like a quite nice idea. But I’m stuck here.
So little time – I’ve got to show you why. I had a dream – beneath a grey Fens sky I frittered all my youth away – with comics, sweets and 48k. Well that was okay…
And favourite popstars whose posters you cherished. And bags of sweet candy and fruit flavoured chews. And pets that belonged to a friendly old neighbour. And big beasties that only came on the box. And breakfast cereals with far too much sugar. And coffee that made you burst all hyperactive. And toys that belonged to your best friend from schooltime. You wanted – you saved up – you counted the days. And programmes you watched when you should have been sleeping. And nights spent in blankets with books read by torchlight. And diaries you started and covered with stickers. And best clothes you wanted to wear for all time.
Give me my childhood, preserved, green and friendly. Help me remember what I have forgotten. Lead me on back through the mists of my mindscape. Show me again what it meant to be young.
Real Sharp Twig
It’s 1:16 in the morning and I don’t know who I love. I want someone who would want to stay in every once in a while. And I’m not sure if this is love but I’m trying my best to find out: been poking my brain with a real sharp twig and it’s really starting to hurt. Well there’s one girl with long curly hair who I’ve seen around a few times. Another girl who I work with but she knows where my loyalties lie. And the other girl who’s the girl on a bike – the one I really like. I know where she lives: her house backs onto mine. I’m not sure if this is love… No I’m not sure at all. Suppose I’m only human – I’ll probably do bugger all. I’m not sure if this is love… I’m not sure at all.
It’s 1:19 in the morning. It’s 1:20 in the morning. It’s 1:21 in the morning. It’s 1:22 in the morning. It’s 1:23 in the morning. It’s 1:24 in the morning. It’s 1:25 in the morning. It’s 1:26 in the morning. It’s 1:27 in the morning and I’m still not sure at all…
My taste in films is obsolete. My taste in books is obsolete. My taste in girls is obsolete, I’m afraid. My VCR is obsolete. My multitracker’s obsolete. My Sinclair Spectrum’s obsolete, what a shame.
Nothing lasts for long these days, well not in active use anyway – though it may clog up your shed, or cling on underneath your bed.
My Game and Watch is obsolete. My Buck Rogers lollies – obsolete. My favourite biro’s obsolete, I’m afraid. My group of friends is obsolete. My political viewpoint’s obsolete. The tyranny of newness batters all.
The detritus is piling up into vast electronic rubbish dumps. The world’s resources out of the ground, stacked up in unsightly mounds.
Is there time to put it right? Is there bollocks – is there shite. Utopias of yesteryear, left out to rot like student wallpaper. Moving house makes it so clear – “chuck it now, you’re past that now”. But on my new mattress last night, I dreamt it all came back to life – I dreamt it all came back to life – the obsolete came back to life – the obsolete came back to life.
Now Betamax trash DVDs and Sinclair Spectrums mount PCs. A moratorium’s in force, enforced by rayon patterned hordes. Digicams will film no more – they only just kept Channel 4. Cars have remoulded and choppers sprung out, and your house is once again a council house, and Frank Sidebottom is Prime Minister for life – no longer obsolete.
A secret art of keeping friends in high places: it’s Zen and the art of Dictator Maintenance. At the weapons expo the British High Commissioner thanks General Bastard for buying more tanks. Peaceful pledges so plausibly made, all torn through in the name of trade. Exploit the arms race, paint up our other face. A little war is always good for business.
The price of oil and the flow of refugees are intertwined with our foreign policy. Self-righteous anger may give comfort but it’s bunk – cos whose fault is lack of jobs or council housing stock? So where does all the blood money go? They’ve got a holding cell in case you might know. But they pipe back the pictures with the solemn descriptions, and someone in Woking gets slightly put off their dinner.
Guaranteed to detonate or your money back! Guaranteed to maim, my friend. And as half the world blows lumps out of each other, we can look out from our island fiction with pride. As we know that Britain’s keeping up one of its finest traditions: arming both sides.
She Knows Disco
She knows how I feel about her. Does she feel the same way about me? Written in cards and other messages I send. I’ve got to know – will she be my love, I need to know!
I’m always chasing at rainbows (chasing at rainbows, chasing at rainbows). I’m always tilting at windmills (tilting at windmills, tilting at windmills). I’m always catching at angels (catching at angels, catching at angels). I’m always tilting at windmills (tilting at windmills, tilting at windmills).
Like little James Harries appearing on Wogan with eyes full of sadness and phrases he’d learned from his father the dealer, a conman on the make. The dapper albino – a kid for goodness’ sake.
Your countenance carries pain that’s unspoken. Eclipses of madness, insensitive joking. Well they thrust you in public in thick times and thin. Their costume hire business went down like your schooling.
Happy in your bridal veil you turn coy and joyful, nothing will hurt you now – ordinary locked away, today shuttered and bolted – tingly – happy in your pretty veil you twist, twist, twist and turn – tingly – quick while Daddy’s locked away, what do I spy? A new face for young James to try – happy in your pretty veil – the camera is rolling – happy in your pretty veil – the hand is tugging, tugging, tugging…
“Lauren Harries lifts and separates”. Like big Lauren Harries, beseiged in the frank stocks, they made you a right state, from fake docs to porn shots. Like big Mr Allen, obsessed with his ballsac. Deliberate hangman, the bullshitter sans tact. Like big Lauren Harries… like little James Harries…
We are the decadent robots, and we are here fo’ you – to entertain you, to entertain you, all sing along now. We will dance and we will sing, and we will do almost anything. So won’t you join us, won’t you join us, won’t you join us, all sing along now. Our foil suits and circuitry are so advanced, it’s on show for all of you to see. So take a look now -
See them shine in the light of tonight (x3)
We don’t have spots – but we got watts, and ladybots, who wait for our bells to ding (dong). When we get home at night, when we get home at night, they wait for our bells to ding (dong). So won’t you join us, we’re only here to entertain you. We are the decadent robots, we are the decadent robots – the decadent robots.
Coming to a point of view just past the docks, now the clubs and bars are miles from here. Come into my house, take off your shoes and socks, let your worldly troubles disappear. Inhale through your nose my dear, exhale through your mouth. Pop a cherry on your tongue, don’t let it slip out.
Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – full spectrum of feeling. Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – from dandelion to darjeeling.
Let’s pretend we’re someone that we’re really not, let’s pretend their funny lives are ours. You can choose the fabrics and the scene and plot, all their foibles and their special powers. Soon it becomes natural, just a second skin. Hard though to stay casual with coursing blood within.
Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – they do the yoga and I-ching. Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – from Hounslow to Epping. Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – people searching for something. Load it up, load it up, load it up, load it up – to make their lives more intriguing.
Take these dreams so mercurial – let’s be tactile, not cerebral (x7)
[Entry for WM Recordings 100th Anniversary release, originally written by fellow WM artiste Bacco Baccanels]
[Entry for World Ocean Day compilation 2009]
[Recorded for Squeeze tribute album 2010, originally a long-forgotten single]
Oceans In The Hall
[Entry for World Ocean Day compilation 2010, originally recorded by the Ladybug Transistor (with other bits wafting in courtesy of the old 4-chord trick]